Grandpa “T”
Grandpa "T"
Grandpa "T" is really Ranger Bob (Shhhh. Don't tell anyone) He's retired now and lives at "Maalox in the Pines" Senior Center. Grandpa's favorite saying, "Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home!" Meet the people who live here and watch their videos below...
MEET THE MAALOX NEIGHBORHOOD GANG
The Twit Twins
They call themselves twins so it must have been a dramatic event for everyone in the delivery room! They take care of the grass. When they're not cutting it, they're smoking it. (When it comes to these guys-Darwin has some explaining to do) They think 'Jack the Ripper' got his name from eating too many burritos! They were last seen putting up a TV antenna in an electrical storm...
MISS Anita Mann
If it doesn't move it gets kissed. She's on the lookout for husband number??? Her favorite saying is, "If you’re not scaring the cat-you’re not doing it right." She likes to put a football in her panty hose and run by her husband yelling “Spike this!!” Watch her in action....
Dr. P. Brain
He's the senior center inventor, and you never know what he might come up with next. His most notable inventions were: An adult version of Silly Putty called Goofy Vaseline, a life raft made of bacon, and windmill powered toaster. P. Brain appeared in the last Labor Day parade riding a motorized bedpan. Watch his video and you'll see what I mean...
My Niece Denise
Denise is Grandpa's niece on his mothers, sisters, cousins side, twice removed. She's not in the top half of her class in school, but she made the top half possible! She watches re-runs of Jeopardy and still doesn't know the answers. (Its like the wheel goes around-but the hamster is dead!) Watch her in action....
Rico & The Rock
They force you to buy..er rather they sell- Life Insurance. They come from a tough neighborhood...The kids would play games like 'Simon says give me your watch' and the K-Mart Weekend Special was-Buy One, Steal One FREE! Rico was picked up so often by the cops, they sewed a handle on his jacket ! Rico & The Rock will make you an offer you can't refuse...Just watch and see...
Anne Teak-1950's Movie Star
Starred in the 1950 B-movies, "Kiss Me Before My Make-Up Hardens", and "I'm So Miserable Without You...It's Like Having You Around!" Anne got married on Mt. Rushmore and spent her honeymoon in Teddy Roosevelt’s nose. Her favorite saying, "Never marry a handsome man, he may leave you. Marry an ugly man, he may leave you too... but SO WHAT!! Watch her in action...
Mr. Presto Chango
The senior center resident magician. Once made it look like the food tray disappeared by wrapping the cocktail wieners in his socks. Recently he was stunned to learn American Express will not replace your traveler’s checks if you lose them playing blackjack! His favorite trick is making your wallet disappear. Watch out for this guy...
Grandpa's Sister-Mitzi
Grandpa's sister, but she thinks she's his mother! Her cuckoo doesn't come all the way out of the clock! Her advice when visiting the seniors center, "Never put your drink down-someone may put their teeth in it!" How old is she?? No-one knows for sure... but her last birthday cake looked like a prairie fire! She says, "Old age is like the weather when you turn 85 you make everyone uncomfortable."
Sargent Harry Chest
Former hard core Marine Sargent drafted in 1969. Told the draft board one of his legs was shorter than the other. They said that was perfect because the ground in Viet Nam was uneven. Grew up in a tough neighborhood...he went to the Catholic school- Our Lady of Perpetual Pain. On Ash Wednesday the priest puts out a cigarette on your forehead. Once at a restaurant he told the waiter his steak was bad. Then he picked it up and spanked it!
More to come soon….